All’ombra dell’orso

mumok, Wien – 12/03/2020

your head rests on my shoulder
black strands hide your face
I want to see you

we touch sometimes
knock into each other as we stroll side by side
I want to hold you

cold air snaps at my eyes, claws at my mouth
my words don't form as another moment slips by
I want to reach you

I hide squirreled away in my deepest recesses
I hold but at the wrong times
I talk but don't really say anything
I see but don't act
I believe I am more than I am right now
I am comfortable around everyone
but with you, my thoughts turn on each other
I'm terrified of being hurt again

you should get to see all of me
you deserve my honesty
you can't see me
you can't hold me
you can't reach me
because I was never really here

I am now.

I pray you still are

This piece was written in March 2018. Lot’s Wife accepted it as a piece for their print edition – Issue 4, 2018.